Monday, August 28, 2006
my life... R.E.F.L.E.C.T.I.O.N

This is a long blog. Failure to understand what I had written will be a waste of your time reading then... IF NOT, carry on...

Yea... so many things can just happen during weekends. I guess time for me to stop being stubborn about things and starting changing before I worsen things any further...

Sometimes I just wished I can be still in my secondary school... being new to the world, learning things of the world and still ignorant to many things of the world. But sadly, I know time never stops for anyone. I'm born for a purpose. My aim is to find out this purpose and live out the purpose.

But things are just not easy. The bumps along the way... made me woke up to reality more and more... Recently, there are just too many occasions for me to ponder on. I am who I am, created and perfect in the eyes of God. Things that I regret... to say none then I must be really dumb. I do have... lots of regrets... why did I say those things and trigger things? Why didn't I be aware earlier of how things are and made the right action? Why must things be still at the unsolved stage? Why can't I be a lot more understanding and mature about things? Why... WHY?!

"Because I'm still learning..." This doesn't give me the excuse to behave in such a way still. If I'm still learning... then I have to learn fast. Running away from problems... I guess it's not my first time. But facing up to problem is not my first time either! I need to figure out how to really deal with this problem more effectively. All of us... are tired. But I think I won't want to give up. I won't be able to forgive myself if anything goes wrong... I really want God to do something.

We are tired... though some of us are feeling sore over certain things still unsolved... we still have to maintain our focus on God and not the problem. We can't just take on blessings on certain areas in life and blame God on what we feel He hadn't give us. If given a choice, Jesus won't want to take the cup of suffering too. I guess if you are taking a break from study, and reading this, I hope you can really understand where I'm coming from. As much as I'm tired, it is how much I hope we can both continue to motivate each other. The elders are already very tired... since we are so much younger, there should be something we can do about it and not add on to their already heavy burden.

Nothing beats the heart of a person who is strong in God. I wish to be that person... and to be that person; you got to help me too. SO I must help you too! Wahahahas... must tag me OR msg me and tell me that you understand OK!

I guess I got to thank God for everything He had blessed me with... beginning from the LATEST, nice chatting with Celine, nice chatting with Charissa, nice Daddy who fetched me back hostel, nice Yinghuan who slept on my just-change-today-bedsheet, and also helped me hang my washed clothes! nicely prepared wonderful lunch by MUMMY, nice looking ORANGE NEW Jacket by GEL Leaders + Charmian, Gladys, Pearlyn, Sherrlyn, Sarah, Christina, Matthew, Carina, Celine, Meilan, Gabriel (list by courtesy of Alson), nice shoulder-to-cry-on from this also-orange-lover, Celine... nice and wonderful GELLERS (Meilan and Charmian) who lend their ears to me and my sister...

Wow. All these in just one day! The list can go on and on... all these uncountable blessings are... for an unworthy me. And yet I went to count my misfortunes and questioned God...

I am battered but not yet shattered completely. I know the victory has been won and I should just focus on getting my purpose in life fulfilled than to dwell on what I cannot control in life. I'm going to tell my problem how BIG my God is. YUP... and this is going to be my focus. This is really a long blog. Congratulations to you reader who had survived through it and reading THIS now. Orange wishes you ALL the BEST in everything you do... hope you learnt some things from this blog... else you are really wasting your time... wahahas...!

Cheerios... cos I know God knows what I'm going thru and He had comforted me thru His people! ^^ oh BOY... think I really need to zz now. I'm glad I wrote this blog before I sleep and GLAD you had read it!

The days ahead will be stress and busy... but I know God will make a way.