Sunday, January 06, 2008
The Day Before HCM

State: Moodless.

School is starting.
Modules are set.
Was printing out my lecture slides and found out that the supposed Advance Data Management Open-Book exam has became Closed-Book exam for this coming semester. The Simulation and Modelling has Mathematics, Programming and Software complications. Wonderful combination. My hope of having a peaceful upcoming semester.. seemed to be diminishing. I hope all will be fine. Somehow the dreadful feeling came back again. I hate it.

HEY YOU LECTURERS, today is Day 1 at school. Why isn't the other 2 modules' lecture notes uploaded yet? Is the lecturer-in-charge sleeping or what? If the system is this way, why blame the students that they do things last minute?? So am I supposed to attend the lesson without any lecture notes? So is this the school's fault, the lecturer's fault or MINE?

*****

Sometimes I really feel sick.
Sick of situations happening and sick of explaining.
Sick of it so much.
At the end of it?
People say I am supposed to be mature about things.
I got blamed for not doing my part.
So during war time and my fellow comrade forgot to wipe his own S and I didn't inform him, is it my fault that his shit is hanging around?
My tolerance level has got its limits.
You just keep on rain it down mercilessly.
If that day ever comes.
Don't ever feel sorry for anything.
It is my decision and my life.
I will answer to no one except God and myself.

Peaceout.

*****

I was greeted by a really nice longish LATE Seasons Greetings card sent by one of my garang mates on friday when I returned back to palace. I think the content was very cutely written. I am surprised by what I received by mail these days. Just an add on, I thought that being a TCC member would just mean go to TCC, spend $20 and above, get some discounts, earn some points and thats all. Who knows I got this little parcel from TCC.. yeah, same time as I got my card from ms cutie. The parcel was nicely wrapped in a white cardboard, after removing that, in it lies a brown box, tied beautifully with a gold ribbon. After untying it, there lies a beautiful white organiser. What a beautiful surprise. Is God trying to tell me that I need an organiser to organise my life? Well well. Alrights. I'll do it. After using pieces of notes and rough paper all these years trying to set my schedules in life.. I can try using an organiser I guess?

I think I really do love God? Yeah. Nowadays... really it seemed that God has been with me. Despite all the happenings. He is certainly better than anyone I know. Better than my family, friends.. you name it. Why? Because He is here, there, everywhere. If only I can lean on Him more. Thats something I'm still learning to do.

*****

I really enjoyed myself this morning during the worship service. Its either I love singing those songs so much, or the atmosphere was really good this morning as the worshipping musicians were really good, or I haven't been able to sing so freely for some time already.

I really do think that the worship musicians are really really very talented. I admire the backup singer for being able to sing into her alto part so easily, the main lead singer for her powerful strong vocals, the male bass guitarist for his super musically inclined playing of bass guitar, his total playing of the whole session by feeling and hearing, the drummer for his amazing powerful drum beats at the right timing, the guitarist and pianist for their wonderful notes added in beautifully at the right timing. You can really see the whole worship team was giving each other rooms to play, to worship God, and to improve when one makes a mistake.

Ahh. You guys won walkergal's admiration!

*****

Finally got my handsome blackie back to the Shell. It has been a while. Its so dusty! =.= I hope with blackie around, I can do my lineups earlier, I can plan songs better too. After chatting now, I feel much better. Thank you Ms SeldomOnline. Hur...

I know its gonna be a damn busy week after my short retreat to HCM. So I hope HCM gonna be fun packed with laughters... Cos laughter is really.. the best medicine for me. =P Oh, I hope to eat and drink and have LOADS OF FUN every night and get FAT FAT then when I returned, I can get well toned from all the challenges lining upfront for me.. else I'll be turned to bones by the challenges.. NO WAY!!